“It must be boring” Anastasia Steele.
Just as boring this movie will be!
I love how the directors tried to make it romantic, emotionally charged and plot driven just so it could be R Rated!
I was eating my breakfast, and I puked in my mouth.
But damned if Jamie Dornan looked fine!!


Jordan has a little garden on the balcony and my sister says. “Oh look he is growing pot!”

I frown. “No he isnt.”

“Yes he is!” she points excitedly. “Right there!”

I roll my eyes. “that is not Pot. That is a fern! The one next to is Dracena!”

“how do you know!”

“Because I have a Dracena!”

My sister was trying to educate me on Weed. Ha, nice try!


i miss him so much, his smile, our goofiness at work, our conversations, sometimes I just hope that I will dream about him.

Even today, the memory of his fingers on my waist before poking me in the ribs, caused me to flinch involuntarily.

I was hoping he would come thru the drive thru, and seeing him would make my day better

then I think to myself. Wait a minute? What conversations?



While I was having a bath, I broke down and cried. I didnt realise how upset I still was by having a complete stranger telling me what a horrible person I was.

When all I was doing was trying to take his order, and defending myself from another’s verbal attack!

I always tell everyone that I dont care what people think of me, that I am stone cold, that I dont have a heart.

It gets overwhelming.

I am so tired of it. I am so tired of pasting on a smile when people are being rude to me, being ignorant, and abusive. I just want to slam my fist into their throat.

Or cry.


I almost walked off my shift.
I was trying to take an old man’s order, and Greg was yelling at me to take that order.
“I am”
He kept breaking at me. “No you’re not you are talking to your sister! Take the order!”
“I am taking the order!” So again I tried to take the old man’s order. Greg is still bitching.
“Chill, Greg!” I snapped.
“You are nasty!” The old man said to me.
I was so stunned. “I am nasty?” I was so angry by now. “Where do you get off calling me nasty when I was trying to take your order and I am getting yelled at!!!” I snapped.
The old man was speechless I said anything! “I don’t know why you’re nasty!” He said quietly.
“Yeah and now you can go!”
I was so upset!
I don’t need this bullshit. I was ready to walk out.


“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self acceptance opened.”
― Shannon L. Alder

  1. I talk too much. I wonder do I: Talk too much about myself. Talk too much about insignificant things. That is why I tend to be quiet. (snorts in derision)
  2.  He can’t like me, I mean look at me. I’m disgusting! Trying to find ways to hide my hideousness takes too much energy!!!
  3. will I ever be good enough? Good enough at my job.good enough role model for my niece? Good enough daughter for my parents?
  4. At love. How can anyone love me? I am so ‘bipolar”, I am such a “drama queen”,I am so “negative” all the time. I am the “saddest” person you will ever meet!
  5. I always feel like I am letting people down. how come when I try, no one sees it?

I have all these little doubts running around in my head, then I smile my evil smile. And the one thought that keeps me going is unmentionable!





I felt a sense of dread and impatience when the five customers walked in this morning.

I thought there was no way, they could wrong. They know now what to order, it will go smoothly.

Why the hell did i have to jinx myself?

Every time one would order something, another would butt in and tell me he wanted something else.

I glared at them, then smiled ever so sweetly. “what. would. you. like?” I was firm leaving no room for discussion.

They blinked. “Egg muffins! and those!” they pointed at the baked muffins. “sausage muffins!”

I gritted my teeth. “For the last time those arent sausage muffins!!! those are carrot!”

They got their food, and sat down.

“That is it, Greg!” I snapped. “I am not serving them! This is the last time I am serving them!”

Greg sighed. “Ok Rebecca.”

“I am serious!”

One of the guys came back. “I wanted big breakfast!”

My mouth dropped in disbelief. Greg shot me a warning glance. By now I was ready to throat punch this dick! “You wanted a Big Breakfast!” Greg gave him a Big Breakfast.

“And that!” the guy points to the landing where the sauces are.

Greg groans. “What would you like, sir?”

“That! That sauce!” the guy obviously never uses words before.”Chick sauce!”

I swear these guys are being deliberately obtuse so they can get whatever they want. If one is too lazy to use their words to even form a half decent sentence then this society is going straight to hell in a hand basket!

I would rather have those guys use an app to send me their order than deal with their rudeness! Maybe I will suggest it to them next time they come in. They have an Iphone? Message me your damn order!




I realized how perfect Nick Mancuso would be in any Jayne Ann Krentz’s book turned to TV movie.
Especially Oliver Rain (Wildest Hearts),Starke (Trust Me), Hatch (Sweet Fortune)
He looks so damn fine in suit.
The Waiting Game doesn’t count because it was cast poorly.