WHEN GUYS TURN SUDDENLY AWKWARD!


Dont get me wrong, one of the best qualities a guy can have is confidence and humour. Yet the moment a guy turns awkward around a woman:

I am like this:

I just turn into a nutcase of happiness! I am suddenly less awkward, sure my words dont make sense, but who cares? He is suddenly awkward!

And that shy smile?

Oh peel me off that floor with a spatula! I am done for!

What woman wouldnt appreciate a handsome confident guy suddenly turning awkward around them?

Every woman would appreciate it!

Especially if they smell good, have beards, and  were tall…

Ok now I have to stop…

 

 

I NEED TO FIND MY CHUCK BASS


I need to find my Chuck Bass, so I can be someone’s Blair Waldorf!

He seriously intensely loved her!

He was one intense mother chucker!!!

I’m in a romantic kind of mood right now.

It will probably last about a few minutes!!!

♥♥♥

ITS DIET! ITS SUPPOSED TO BE HEALTHY!!!


One of the regular ladies that come in, trains in the body building circuits, would order Diet Coke and a shot of sugar free vanilla syrup. I would wince every time she order that! That is a whole lot of sweetness!!!

Until a couple of days ago when she came in and just ordered water. I frowned at her. “You didnt order your Diet Coke special?” I teased.

She grimaced. “No, my trainer got mad at me!” she explained that while she liked Diet Coke, her body didnt. Instead of losing the weight she was supposed to, her body was becoming gassy, bloated and chunky.

I stared at her in disbelief. I didnt want to make it awkward but…

This girl was smoking hot! She was cut! Her muscles were defined, there wasnt an ounce of chunk on her. I was kind of upset that she would even think there was!!!

“You are kidding me right?”

“Its the apastarme!” she went on.

Ahhh! Everything made sense then.

Its true. Apastarme does horrible things to the body.

Its made out of three chemicals: aspartic acid, phenylalanine, and methanol. Methanol!!! EW!

Alot of people have adverse reactions to Apastarme. Some reactions include:

  1. headaches
  2. dizziness
  3. seizures
  4. muscle spasms
  5. tachycardia (fast heartbeat)
  6. vision problems
  7. slurred speech
  8. tinnitus
  9. memory loss
  10. vertigo

Just to name a few. Can you imagine if you have a disorder or chronic illness!!!

Thats really really scary!!!

Another customer came in today and told me that his wife drank Pepsi every day. Ended up with Diabetes. “You dont realise how much sugar you are putting into your body until its too late!” he said. “6 cups of concentrated sugar in a 2 litre bottle!”

My mouth dropped.

“She wouldnt drink water or milk, nothing but Pepsi.” he sighed. “Now she has to watch her sugar intake.”

It is frightening to hear such horrible stories!

Here I am drinking Ice Coffee with six shots of sugar!!!

Good Lord!!!

 

 

ITS RAINING MEN


Me: its raining men, hallelujah! Its raining men!
Justin: so what kind of umbrella would you use if its raining men?
Me: I wouldn’t use an umbrella! I would open my arms and catch them!
Justin: or your mouth!
That too!

OH MY GOD! WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT?!


Tell me I was dreaming – one of my favorite songs by Travis Tritt.
I woke up with it in mind because of that saying, if you can’t sleep its because someone is dreaming about you!
If that is true, I shudder at the thought of GF not getting any sleep.
I was sure I was dreaming, because every time I woke up there was silence. Yet each time I was woken by her screaming!
The last time I woke up, I knew dreamt, because the dream was of me outside their window watching Jordan fuck GF.
Which is impossible they lived on the second floor. And I was lying flat on my tummy, like an awesome ninja!
Oh i was such a naughty girl!!!
I was lying there in the bed. Wondering if I had been talking in my sleep. Saying naughty things.
Ew! Creeped out beyond measure, I tried to go back to sleep!
It was then I saw it. On my dresser,  my iPad. Curious, I put on my glasses, to check it out.
It had been in sleep mode, but now it was on. the screen had changed.
Eek! Ghost! Ghost! Run!
Oh my god, what did I do last night?!

ACCEPTED MY CHALLENGE. YET CHEATS! TOUCHÉ!


After a couple leg trembling shout to the roof top stress relieving orgasms, I said out loud rather cheekily.
“Oops, I bet she can’t be as quiet as me!”
A challenge heard by both, they were in the bedroom listening,and clearly they accepted.
they woke me up hours later by turning on their bathroom fan knowing the sound is worse than a diesel truck!
Therefore cheating!

I was not amused and yet  relieved.
I was having a horrible dream about the Zombie Apocalypse!
I hate zombies!!
(Terrified)
I can’t sleep!
At the same time I rather chop off my ears then hear the fan and gf!!!
Well played, Karma! Well played!