I am continuously amazed by how well brought up some young men are.
I was having lunch the other day with my niece and sister when an elderly homeless man walked into the lounge.
I shouldn’t say he is homeless, he is well off but chooses to live simply. His hygiene isn’t awesome either.
He walked in, and saw the young men and the smile he had was huge. He walked over, and started to talk about this new bicycle he heard about.
Now these young men come in all the time, usually they don’t make a fuss. they smiled at the old man, asked him questions about the bike. Not once did they make any excuse to leave. They laughed with him and only when did the old man get up to get a drink, did they leave.

I was amazed, because not only did this situation point out my lack of respect for the elderly, my impatience in social situations, it really pointed out how respect has to be earned not given.
I am always offended by how rude other people are, but I never take a look at myself.
I may say “please, thank you, sir,miss,” but it’s all going through the motions.
I really need to buck up, and stop being such a condescending bitch!!!


I dont want to have to prove that I belong in any man’s life. I dont want to have to prove my worth.

I just need him to look at me, and know that despite everything he will go through I will be there. That even if I will mess up, that I will fight for what we will have.

I need to be listened to like  his favorite song, to be snuggled like his favorite sweater, to be cherished like his favorite childhood memory. to be like his favorite book, handled with care.

I want his eyes to light up with joy every time he sees me, i want to be the reason he laughs and the reason he  finds his way out of the darkness when he is feeling down.

Maybe its a silly girl’s musing, but as a woman I still find these thoughts romantic.


sometimes we lose sight of what we have, when we are in search of something more, of something on the greener side.

In order to be happier, we have to stop taking what we have for granted, and be grateful for what we do have. What we should  be grateful for.

so take that extra minute be grateful. It doesnt have to be big or spectacular. just something that pops into your head.

  • I am grateful that every morning i wake up I have my home, my job, and my family.
  • I am grateful for the years i spent blogging, and the many readers i have encountered.
  • I am grateful that i spent time with my niece today and we had our silly talks.
  • i am grateful that I am loved, that everyone in my life has somehow influenced me some way somehow.



I was dreaming of my true love. But I don’t remember what he looks like.
The dream shifted and I was at reunion concert. The Smashing Pumpkins. 🙌
Only Billy Corgan did one song, and he walked off!
Melissa and D’Arcy were fighting who would sing lead, when out walks Serena Gomez.
Everyone in the crowd was stunned. They were the who’s who in the music and movie business. She hadnt been seen since her break up with Bieber and rehab. She was a mess. Her long black hair veiled her gaunt pale face. She appeared ethereal, in her silver sheer gown.
Oh this isn’t going to be good.
She started to sing, “tonight tonight” she butchered it.
Demi lovato tried to get her off stage.
They walk off the stage, and that’s when the scene changes.
All three of us are in a dark dank place. “Where are we?” I asked. I could hear hysterical laughing. I looked around and   noticed dirt streaked glass cells. Something about them niggled my memory. There were prison like bars that ran from one end of the ward to the other. I inhaled sharply. No. I thought panic rising within me. No.
“Where are you going?” Demi demanded as I began to search the cells. “Don’t leave us here”
I ignored her. I came to a stop at one cell, as I got closer the lights flickered.
NOT ALONE. Was scrawled in the dirt.
My heart stopped.
The sanitarium where Rachel was lured by Dr.grey and his best friend Sheriff Ryan!
“We have to get out of here” I said.
I turned around to find Demi and Serena gone. “Girls?!” I cried. ” this isn’t funny!”
I began to walk towards the entrance of the ward where Demi was shoving Serena into a cell.
“What are you doing?!” I shrieked. “Get her out of there, do you know what this place is?!”
Serena was crying, fighting to free herself of Demi.
“Its the only way!” Demi sobbed “she won’t get help!”
“No! Listen to me, this place is evil.” I wrestled Serena away from her. “She doesn’t belong here”
The lights flickered again.
My fear rose like bile in my throat. “We have to go. They are coming.”
I took Serena by the hand, and pushed Demi out of the cell.
“But they said she had to stay.” Demi protested. “They hadn’t cured yet.”
“The good doctor can fuck himself!” I hissed “now come on!”
We were almost at the cell block gate when someone stepped out.
“Toni?!” I was incredulous.
Toni Collette was eating yogurt covered bon bons, her red hair in a bun. Her nurses uniform pristine white.
“Demi’s right. You can’t go anywhere until Serena is cured.”
My eyes narrowed, “cured like your appendix, Toni?”
Toni’s cheek twitched. “Touché! I faked appendicitis so well they removed it.”
She snapped.
“What’s going on here, Toni?!” I demanded. “Stop eating those damn bon bons!”
She smiled a deprecating smile. “Demi came to us. Begged us to help her dear friend!”
I glared at her. “You don’t know what you’re doing,Toni”
The lights flickered more violently, and then out of the shadows they emerged.
“Aw hell no.”
Dr. Douglas Grey and Sheriff Ryan. Looking Remarkable young. “We will take good care of her” Grey assured me in a placating tone.
“You are not touching them!” I shoved the girls behind me. “You and your twisted freak of a friend can fuck yourselves!”
“What is going on?!” Demi cried.
Grey held up his hands, in one there was a syringe.
“We are only helping.”
I sneered, “yeah I know all about your kind of help at Willow Creek.”
Ryan glared at me. “Its offense to interfere with a doctor and his patient.”
I ignored him, and glared at Toni. “They are going to hurt these girls, Toni! Help me!”
The lights flickered, and in that moment Grey lunged for Serena. She shrieked. I twisted, shoving both girls as hard as I could out of his reach.
They sprawled, rolling along the floor into one of the cells. The door slammed shut behind them.
Toni ran to open the door. I scrambled to my feet and chased after her. I slammed my weight into her, the body chuck knocking her out. As her head hit the glass.
I scooped up the keys, and stared at the girls thru the glass. “Don’t worry, you will be safe in here. Rachel will protect you.”
The girls screamed. Looking into the reflection, I watched as Grey and Ryan advanced.
I knelt, taking one off Toni’s stiletto shoes, I rose slowly.
I let them get closer, Ryan’s hand was ready for his gun. He withdrew it and aimed.
I whirled, and threw the stiletto at his head. His eyes registered shock and horror as the tip sank deep between his eyes.
He fell to his knees, dead.
“A stiletto, Ryan?!” Grey screeched. “You let that bitch kill you with a high heel?!”
“Actually, this type of high heel is specifically designed to be a weapon. Like a knife. So hookers can defend themselves. It is why it is called a stiletto.” I replied coldly.
Grey lunged for me, but a hand snaked out grabbed his leg. He shrieked as he toppled over.
I was on him in a sec, my knees pinning his arms down. Smiling twistedly, I pried the syringe out of his fingers. I emptied it out. Then let him watch as I pull air into it. “Tell me, good doctor what happens when I release this air bubble into your blood stream?”
His eyes grew wide. “It goes to my heart, and I die” he whispers.
I jammed the needle into his artery. He gasped.
I stood. “Open the door, Rachel” I called out.
The door to the cell open and Demo and Serena ran out. “You killed them!” Demi choked, staring at the two dead bodies.
“I know.” I smoothed Serena’s hair from her face, “did both of you learn your lesson? Never turn your back on your bff? And never ever commit her to a sanitarium?!”
The two girls hugged. “You kept calling out for Rachel, who is Rachel?” Serena asked.
I smiled. “Rachel? You can come out now.”
The lights flickered. Not far from where we were, a young girl stood. Her hair clumpy and soiled. Her face smeared with dirt and blood. Her clothes torn. I reached out for her.
She hesitated. “This is Rachel,” I sighed. My arms closed around her, “she was one of the many girls that Grey and Sheriff Ryan murdered.”
“Murdered?” Demi whispered. “She is a ghost?”
I smiled. “Yes.” I hugged Rachel tighter. “She saved you two tonight. But we must be going.”
Serena reached for my hand  “you cant, what about us?”
“You two will be fine, I will call you some help, but I promised Rachel that I would be with her. She needs me more than you two,”
“What do you mean?” Serena whispered. Then both she and Demi turned their heads to look down.
They began to scream.
My body was slumped over Grey’s. A pool of blood forming where Ryan’s bullet lodged in my chest.
“No!” Demi cried.
“Its OK.” I assured. “Look at me?! You go on now. Go on. And you be strong beautiful women!”

I woke up just as Rachel and I led them out to the night air.
If you didn’t get the movie references, it was Gothika I had been dreaming about.
I am never drinking Pepsi before bed again!

All the words I wanted to say


Somehow I never knew what to say
I got scared when I would look at you
The words just died on my tongue, when you smiled at me
Everything I wanted to say
I was always too late
You never understood me at all
So those words I never got to say
Died on my tongue, better for all


Its 2014. In most literature we read, and movies we watched, as children we were supposed to have by now

  • Hoverboards, flying cars.
  • most incurable illnesses cured.
  • apocalypse.
  • clones.
  • some kind of space technology.
  • birthcontrol shot
  • robots/androids
  • peace and or dictatorship

Its 2014. funny, we havent been living up to our ancestors idea of advancement either

  • we still are fighting over religion,and materialistic gain
  • there are still homeless and starving people in the world, yet people seem to care about what their next mani/pedi is going to look like
  • the government doesnt care about healthcare for all, but rather private sector (we have universal care, you guys really need to get that)
  • welfare system is getting out of control
  • too many children being popped out just for the sake of child tax
  • women are being denied their rights to birth control, abortion clinics, due to employers’ religion beliefs
  • armed forces veterans are coming home and finding that companies wont hire them, even though they have training in medical, engineer, mechanical etc. some end up homeless, and some are so traumatized yet are refused help. we send them to defend our country and we turn our back on them once they come back. ( i get very emotional when I read about that happening! I am getting very upset right now!!!)
  • people are more concerned about their Second Amendment rights then trying to keep their children safe from idiots carrying guns. ‘Guns dont kill people, people with guns, kill people’ is such bullshit.any person who fights against gun control is helping kill children. Yeah i said it.  What is more precious? A child’s life? or helping a whack job getting his hands on his gun. because that is what anyone who whines about gun control and their Second Amendment right being violated is doing!

Its 2014 – and what oh progress we made…going backwards

but its my opinion, you may hate it or leave it, but dont hate me ^_^



I dont what was more chilling. That it was so quiet outside, and out of nowhere a woman screams. I was like a deer in headlights, frozen in the middle of my livingroom.

There was silence, then her chilling laugh echoed in the night air.

She was half a block away!!!


I am beginning to question my own mental state!

I know Jordan, GF and creepy guy are at the lake! I saw no one return, yet I can hear someone murmuring and footsteps scurrying across the floor.

Its like the Grudge! I keep expecting Toshio to show up, with his cat!