Every now and then,
when the world sits just right,
a gentle breath of heaven
fills my soul with delight…
~Hazelmarie “Mattie” Elliott, A Breath of Heaven


When the stone that is my heart cracks, and the last thoughts before I go to bed are:

  1. I am amazed how doctors can do their jobs without breaking down. They heal, they see loss.
  2. I am amazed by the acts of generosity between people. Between complete strangers, and I realise how selfish I really am.
  3. I am amazed how brave the Armed Forces/ police men going out to face danger, knowing they may never come back.
  4. I am amazed how a mother can give birth! (still dont want children!!!)
  5. I am amazed a man can provide his family, and somehow he finds time to spend with his family (i really admire that)
  6. I am amazed by the Grace of God, every day by his many blessings. How sometimes a moment can make me really think about how wonderful this life is!


The first thing I did today when I got home was burn incense, and a sage candle.

I had to clean and purify my home after something bewildering scary thing happened last night.

I had been sleeping, not dreaming, just in a  very comfortable and in a happy deep sleep.

Suddenly something changed.

A certain heaviness pressed in around me, a sudden barrage of scary images and thoughts hitting me.

It came out of nowhere, hard and fast.

Why was I feeling so under attacked?

I was afraid to open my eyes and see what was in the darkness around. So I focused on the fear that was crushing me

Fear of what?

I had no idea where it was coming from.

It was so thick.

I began to recite my favorite mantra. It usually calms me whenever I am frightened or need to meditate.

Nothing, it wouldnt work.

Ok. my favorite prayer.

My favorite affirmation. Nothing was working.

Instead, it was like a movie. The horrible images, fear  kept going despite my efforts.

this wasnt good. If my favorite mantra, affirmation and prayer werent working, how was I going to get control of myself? Of the situation?

Then i began to sing my favorite hymn.

My fear began to ebb.

The images were going away.

I laid there trembling. Was this a test? Of my faith?

No, my faith had to be strong.

My faith was strong.

I cant be questioning it.


Being humble is knowing when things are going horribly wrong, all you have to do ask for His help and he will grant it. He will test you in many ways, your faith, your patience but if you are willing to go the distance, he will be there with you.

Being humble is not asking  to make your life better but asking to make other lives better. You may think you have it hard, but if you look outside yourself, saw the people around you, what could you do to help them? Stop asking for “I want, I need” start asking “What can I give? What do you need?”

Being humble is being gracious when blessed with what you have, and not demanding more. Its a little disturbing when a person has more than more than to make his life comfortable yet he is still not satisfied.

I often wonder:

If we were to take all a person’s wealth, land, their family, their religion,their right to electronics, music,everything, left them with nothing. But then I realised  it would just be the same as it what they were doing.

What would it take for them to realise that all this fighting over land, oil, religion would be petty? That their senseless warring over their so called right to land and interperation of God was for nothing? Just needless deaths, casualties. Could they be humbled enough to change?

Could they be humbled enough to accept another’s culture? A religion?

an epiphany reached in dream state.

You know you have succeeded  when your life reflect your dreams.


and somewhere with all that romantic atmosphere I was going to be a successful writer too!!

Then reality hits a low blow when I realised I was dreaming the whole time!

Way to play me!

One for Life. Zero for Me!




A Christian man who takes the lead in sexual purity, and who tells the woman that her heart means more to him than her body, and her purity is more valuable to him than his own pleasure, liberates her from a cruel bondage and gives her a blessing that words can hardly describe.


Sometimes I am truly in awe of God’s work.