Now this is the funniest Canadian stereotype I ever saw!
I had a horrible dream that it was snowing! It got waist deep!
On my way to work this morning, it started to snow!!!
I had a scary dream last night.
It irks me to no end that I have a potential plot line to a story from this dream, and all I can remember is bits and pieces. When I finally got it down, its shit!!!
Come on! Its like my brain is being mutinous and refusing to work with me!
Oh well! so I just wrote down what I remembered of the dream!
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful day -Louis Armstrong.
There were three of us. The Triquetra.
Chad was my touchstone. Who kept me grounded. He could break the link between the spiritual world and I if it got too dangerous. M was my voice. He would speak when I was in my trance.
We were never far apart, our psychic link was strong, and it kept us from having serious relationships with others.
One night, we were busy in our shop. One was mediating, I was organizing crystals the other was doing the accounts.
“We have company,” said M.
“Dont answer the door.” I replied.
What does Chad do? Opens the door!
“I said dont open the door!” I snapped.
Chad glared at me. “Maybe its lost on you, but this is how we get our money! We open the doors, we have customers!”
M had a grim expression on his face. “Next time, dont argue with her.” he turned back to the computer. “Last thing we need is to go back to the country.”
I smirked. “Back?” I picked a quartz. “You havent been there since grandma and grandpa died.”
“I am saying we are not going back!”
Chad grumbled about not understanding our jibber jabber and greeted the customer.
“Dont say we didnt warn you,” M muttered.
The customer was from the nearby mennonite colony. He was of the Old Order. I watched as Chad usher him into the “reading” room. The customer was speaking Plautschdeutsch. Rapidly, and excitedly.
I laughed at Chad’s expression when he re-entered the back room. “I had no idea what he was saying!” he exclaimed.
“He said, he was going to hell.” I translated. “He was in the place of the devil.”
“Oh.” Chad muttered. “he said all that?”
M stood. “I guess we should see what he wants.” he sighed.
I could sense the Mennonite’s anxiety. Whatever compelled him to reach out to us, had to be out of desperation. It was against his faith. I gestured him to sit. I greeted him in plautschdeutsch. Introducing M and Chad I asked how we could help him.
He was very nervous, glancing around as if he expected something to arise and carry his very soul to the devil himself.
“You are safe, my friend.” I assured him. “Please tell me your problem!”
He began off slowly. A month ago there had been a serious of small incidents in the village. None to raise alarm. things missing. Moved. Doors opening during the night. Whispering. It wasnt until a day ago they had gone to the graveyard to visit an aunts grave that they noticed it.
‘Notice what?” M asked.
“Your grandmother’s gravestone had been moved.”
M inhaled sharply. I gasped. “are you sure!” I demanded.
“Yes!” the old man’s head bobbed fervently. “It had been lifted off her grave and smashed several feet away.”
I swallowed hard, and glanced at M. His expression was unreadable. My hand slid to cover his. “Just grandma’s?” I asked.
“Just her grave.”
M stared at the old man. “Her grandmother wasnt buried in the Old Colony side of the grave yard.” he stated coldly. “Her grandfather was.”
“Your grandmother’s grave stone was smashed right beside it!”
Chad let out a oath. “Holy shit!”
M nearly crushed my fingers. “Just where did the haunting originate.” he asked quietly.
“You dont understand, the entire village is being haunted.” the old man whispered. “We are assembly tonight at the school and we would appreciate it if you would come home.”
The village had grown over the last ten years since we had been there. The school’s gym was crammed full of concerned villagers. Old and New colony apparently had been victims of poltergeist activity.
Seated in the back, we heard some examples of how each villager had been haunted.
“Why would grandma do this?” I whispered.
M glared at the villagers. “You know grandma never really liked going out. Suddenly in the after life she has a social life.” he scowled. “Dont use your emotions to make illogical decisions!”
I laughed despite of myself.
Chad held my hand, “There are a lot of angry people here.” he muttered. “I thought they were pacifists.”
I smirked. “oh yeah. on saturday nights. Drinking beer and driving their trucks!”
“Lets get out of here.” M said, “We need to go to the graveyard.”
The grave yard was located by the river, isolated and surrounded by trees. The rumbling of the river, and the whispering of the wind through the leaves sent chills down my spine.
We found the entrance to the New Colony section and picked our way through the plots. “here it is,” Chad muttered shining his flashlight on the disturbed grave.
The hairs on the back of my neck rose. Something was wrong. I could feel it. It wasnt just the fact I was staring at fresh dirt on the grave, it was the aura of evil around me.
Grandma was a gentle soul.
“What is it?” M asked. He reached for my hand. “becky…”
I began to hum.
“is that jazz?” M asked. “BB King?”
“Its Louis Armstrong.” I replied.
Chad frowned. “Becky this isnt the time to be right all the time!”
“It was Grandma warning the villagers!” I sighed. “but she is too weak to do much more.” I broke off and began to hum again.
The humming got louder.
“Snap out of it!” Chad growled. “Aw hell, its not her. Its the grandma.”
M gripped my chin to examine me. “The only thing grandma listened to was the radio. She listened to hymns. This isnt hymnal music! Its Jazz! Whatever this is, has Becky in a tight grip! Aw hell no if I will be singing!”
I began to sing
“I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful day”
a brilliant white light exploded , Chad, M and I began to fall…
I woke up just as I hit the ground.
The first thing I thought of when I woke up. “Great! I died singing a song, and I am always right!!”
And I was singing that song while I got ready for work!
“Don’t you want to fuck and scream and shout and let it all out?”
– taunting Jordan & GF because every time they have sex, they are really quiet. The new neighbors have kids.
I have been laughing about their situation!
And I’ve been not so quiet!!!
One of the other neighbors isn’t pleased that there is a couple with a kid. And is moving out. He works nights, and sleeps during the day.
“I thought this was adults only building! For working people!”
I’m not thrilled either!
Because Jordan is meticulously trying to drive them out.
Sometimes you will feel like you are alone and no one will care just remember:
I was on FB on my break, and it occurred to me, that thank god I never had Social Media while I was in high school. I could just imagine the super dorky statuses that I would put out.
hanging out in the mezzanine! oh my god, Blair is supa fine! did he just look at me?! oh my god!
Oh my god, gross! John Mark just stuck a french fry up his nose!
Mr. P just gave me shit for falling asleep again in class, dude shut up! You are so boring!
Sasha is so hot! Too bad his girlfriend is total bitoch!
Stop looking at me Jen! I am not looking at your boyfriend!
I was such a dork in school! I made Steve Erkel look cool!
My 20 year reunion is coming up!
Imagine my surprise when I saw that event on my FB!
I am so old!
I jinxed myself by posting on FB how awesome I would be in First.
Oh my god, I wanted to throw myself under a truck.
Stefan got pissed off because he had to repeat his order 3x!!!
“Ladies he comes in every day! Every freaking day! He orders the same thing! Every time! Get his order right! I am tired of hearing him complain!” I shouted.
“But he said chicken bacon..”
“He said crispy chicken bacon wrap!”
He pulled up to my speaker. Grins when he sees me. “Did she get my order right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”
I asked how he was. He said he was doing much better. Now.
only one customer bitched that I didnt read the whole order back.
I smiled ever so sweetly. “We would be here all day, if i did.” I shot back.
She stared at me.
That means, its my way! No hi- way option! Get the hell out of my drive thru!
I grumbled to myself. “And my day would be better if Chad pulled up right now”
I was being sarcastic, and lo and behold, I look up at the screen.
I nearly shat my pants!!!
“Holy shit!” I crowed. There he was at the lane one speaker!
Hmm it had to be a coincidence. That a few minutes after I post on FB, that I am in Drive thru. and that I thought about him…coincidence!!!
Chad starts to order. Nicely.
Aww. I was so impressed, until I realised the order had not been punched in yet, and at any moment the OT could ruin the moment by messing up his order!
I scowled. “Dont you fucking mess up his order or else I will be pissed!” I bellowed.
I was so surprised, he didnt have to repeat his order once! Good job!
He pulled up to my window. I greeted him and Brucie.
After he drives away.
“Its Chad,” everyone starts bugging me.
“Yeah I know,” I grunted. “Dont fuck up his order.”
A few minutes later, drive thru’s times went up when a lady didnt know how to use her debit card.
“Rebecca hurry up, just because Chad was here doesnt mean you can slow down drive thru!”
Ha ha ha!! so funny!
“She doesnt know how to use interac!” I cried.
There were groans.
At 2 finally I was allowed out of my cage.
I was taking orders.
“I was watching the Neighbors,” I was telling a manager. “I was laughing so hard, I pissed off GF and Jordan!”
“Ohhh!” he points to the window, and there was GF at the window!
My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, did she hear that?”
he shrugged. “I dont know!”
I was totally freaked out. Everytime I thought about someone, or mentioned someone’s name they would suddenly pop up out of nowhere!
I was dreaming of water, of a woman beckoning me into the shower.
“help a girl out.” she pouted offering her soap to me.
“Oh I dont think I should” I was protesting halfheartedly. She smiled as she noticed I couldnt look away.
“Please, there are some places I cant reach.” as if to demonstrate she turned and arched her back, thrusting that luscious ass at me.
Who could say no to that?
She had curves, every other woman would die for. High round breasts, golden skin, hips and ass that just wouldnt quit. and damn if she didnt kiss like the very devil.
The suds were running over her body, as I soaped her all over. Taking my time. I cupped and kneaded her breasts, enjoying the feel of her body. Watching her react to my touch.
“Oh yes, I knew you would know what to do with me,” she sighed.
I brought my fingers to her mouth, she sucked them, her tongue swirling. She smiled naughtily as my fingers left her mouth to play between her legs. She liked the hard fast rythm. her moans and sighs as I finger fucked her to one orgasm then another, became louder.
I was drawn out of my dream, when I realised that it was her moans I was hearing. It was GF’s.
Her soft cries encouraging Jordan to fuck her faster, penetrated my dream.
I laid there, hot and wet. My hand between my legs.
Dazed and confused. Was I moaning outloud in my sleep again?
I brought myself to an orgasm, just GF came again.
It was a hour later, I was dreaming of the woman again. She was riding my face. Telling me to eat her.
Her cries of pleasure got me so hot, so wet, I nearly came.
Then again I realised it wasnt the girl moaning uncontrollably!
It was GF!
I bolted up awake. Yet again they were fucking.
I laid there.
Was I loud in my dream and reality?
I wonder what I was saying?
I wonder what I was moaning?
Oh my god!
Was I dreaming it before they had sex, or while they were having sex? dreams influenced by environmental sounds,…hmm. Interesting.
I guess I have to record myself again!
I love it when the awkward and mortifying stuff happens to me! (sarcasm intended)!
Chrome is really becoming tiresome!
Wifi is really becoming tiresome!
my god, I feel like I travelled back in time and I am waiting for Dial up!
I will be an old lady, by the time this post uploads!
i feel like a kid freaking out because I dont have wifi!
highspeed internet sucks if the internet provider cant check themselves before they wreck themselves!
“Hope believes there was an argument in the kitchen. the compulsively neat Lina Kaufman wouldn’t leave a half eaten bowl of cereal and banana on a counter.”
are you kidding me?
She would if she got sick. Or heard something outside. What would she do? pick up the bowl, put it in the sink as she tried not to vomit? Checked out the noise?!
Wash dishes as she got sick everywhere?
She would call out “oh don’t break in! I have a mess!” Then clean up?!
Angry thinking here!
-bad idea watching 48Hour HARD EVIDENCE. Lina’s Heart.